The Wink: Hit me with your worst shot

So there's this lady, see.
She's widely read.
Hugely popular.
Enormously funny.
Bigger than life
Largely revered.
A colossal success.
Monumentally witty.
A giant of the blogosphere.

She's practically bursting with...

BABY!

Luckily she has an incredible friend, MommaK, who has enlisted the help of said lady's massive readership.

"Send me your most wildly uncomfortable pregnancy shots," she charged.

Ever fascinated and delighted by pregnancy, I was all too eager to help. I searched high and low (which was easy thanks to the flexibility and ease of mobility regained after pregnancy). Finding the kind of shot she wanted, not so easy, for two reasons:

Smart husband
It took but one unfortunate, "Bring those birthing hips over here" taunt on the basketball court for him to learn he simply had no business saying anything other than,

"My how you glow, you ravishing goddess, you."

Kate Hudson -
God help me I remember watching that little slip of a girl go from serious waif to, well let's not be mean. I just didn't want that kind of body of evidence, as it were.

I am left with a shot taken about a week before our second daughter was born. Falling into the textbook second time parents routine we had taken zero photos.

Oh shit. Quick take 16 pictures and we'll pretened like we were tracking this pregnancy as closely as the first.

The shot below is what happened when I caught myself in profile and realized that while not as heavy as I had been with my first, my belly was seriously in another zip code. Sean had to steady his hands.

My god, do you see this Sean?

Yep.

No, seriously, are you seeing this?

Yes. (Through clenched teeth.)

Sean, my god it's-

Amanda, it's huge. It's scary. Be quiet and let me take the picture so we can stop looking at it. It creeps me out.

So, at MommaK's request, this belly's for Lindsay. Good luck sweetie, we'll be pulling for you!