Cross that bitch

The Scene: Our living room after dinner

The Player: Sean, Avery, Ella the dog and me

Avery was jumping from the ottoman to the sofa and back, Sean was surfing and Ella was doing her best to position herself so that she was in physical contact with each of us. Avery soon landed in the space between the ottoman and the sofa and decided to stay on the floor, crawling around and around beneath our legs. Ella's need to be touching us began to border on frantic.

Me: Ella, move it.

No movement from Ella.

Me: Ella. Now. Go.

Ella scooted approximately 3 inches away. Avery continued crawling.

Avery: Beech.

I cocked my head. Avery continued crawling.

Avery: Bee- bitch. Go bitch.

I leaned forweard and looked at Sean, his eyebrows were raised, curious as I was to determine if she was really grunting bitch as she crawled.

Me: What's that Avery?

Avery: BEECH! Go. Move da bitch.

I was absolutley horrified.

Me: Is she saying bitch?

Sean: I'm not sure.

Avery: Bitch, 'gain bitch. Gleeful squeals and laughter.

Me: I...

Crestfallen. Avery crawled around and passed beneath Sean's legs which were resting on the ottoman.

Avery: 'S'a bitch.

I sat, my mouth hanging open and shoulders slumped in defeat. Then Sean lit up.

Sean: Bridge. She's saying bridge!

Thank goodness, unlearning that would have been, well, it would have been a bitch.